How to Tell if You're a Grinch

• You reuse last year's Christmas cards and send them out under your own name. (5 points)


• You steal light bulbs from you neighbor's outdoor display to replenish your own supply. (5 points, 10 if neighbor's whole light sets or lighted Santa goes out)


• You have dressed a dog or cat as Santa Claus, elf helper, or reindeer. (10 points for each; if you dressed an endangered species, 5 extra points)


• You put out last year's stale candy canes for children. (1 point for each piece of sticky candy).


• If you put out a chocolate or marzipan Santa also, add 10 points.
  You enclose a shoddy and inferior gift from Target, Walmart, or K-Mart in a Bloomingdale's or other prestige box to impress your friends. (5 points for each infraction).


• You make collect long distance phone calls to your family on Christmas day. (5 points, 10 if from a cell phone), claiming you are stuck in a phone booth.


• At the office Christmas party, you horde huge stockpiles of goodies for later consumption at home. (5 points; 15 points if you use this stuff for your own party)


• You steal the wreath from a parked car to use on your own [Southern California only, others ignore]. (5 points -- nobody but Angelenos are dumb enough to dress a car)
  After an invitation to a friend's house, you bring a commercially produced fruitcake and try to pass it off as home made. (5 points; 15 points if the fruitcake is from last year).


• Any stealing from the Toys-for-Tots collection bins is a definite no-no. (20 points)
  Evaluate your score on the "Grinch Scale" from 20 to 100.

20-30: You are just a cheeseball.
30-50: You are an apprentice in Yuletide larceny and are probably wanted by the police for overdue parking tickets.
50-100: Grinch, move over. The Meyer Lansky of Christmas crime has arrived.